Houston always believed in Santa Claus.
​
​To be the lucky one to navigate a daring adventure across the starlit sky through the world-weird at breakneck pace? That was an entirely unthought of dream. One that he didn't know until he had it.
​All gifts in Winterland come in different shapes and sizes, much like its inhabitants.
​'SPLOOSH SOME GAS IN THE LASS PEACHY!' Houston yelled. He was a Theseus’s ship of a man these days: a grease-covered robot leg that ended in a heavy-duty wheel sticking out from his torn denim jorts, an entirely different-looking robot arm to his left covered in kids’ crayon drawings and thick goggles that rivalled only the young Marybeth’s thickly-lensed glasses. It was a wonder he was still standing.
​'Aye-AYE Captain! WITNESS me!!' exclaimed the Peach-y lady with utter joy, scrambling to the front of the boisterous sleigh. Usually, there would have been reindeer there. Today there was a great spluttering engine, rumbling and rocketing away. Peach, being the dedicated assistant, gleefully spat out mouthfuls of gasoline directly into it. The sound of life revved the great beast of a machine with explosions of flame! 'I never DID get my Mad Max chase!'
​Houston laughs, not hearing a single word from the meta-causal minor deity now dangling from the sleigh in complete glee. (He did, however, catch a very animated 'whee!' coming from beneath.)
​
​Behind Houston sat the trunk of this great flying automobile, with inhabitants squeezed in besides a large red back. Pierre stood diligently with a notepad in hand and robot arms sorting through gifts within a great big red bag of holding. 'Non… non… What about zis one?' He handed a gift-box over to SPRX-77 and Mei, who were the official gift adjudicators for this festive anti-heist.
​
​'A compilation of Tolstoy's War and Peace? For a five-year-old, ab-so-lutely! My Gran made me read it about that age too!' Mei said, deferring then to SPRX-77 for affirmation.
​'I don't... I have no idea what it is. But if you have confidence, Mei!' SPRX-77 gave her a hearty thumbs up to make up for her uncertainty, which Mei accepted happily.
​'Bombs away Houston!' ​Pierre grabbed the gift with a robotic tendril and passed it over the greasy, grinning fellow at the helm of the operation.
​'HEE-HEE, AIN'T THIS CHRISTMAS FOLKS!' The sleigh swooped down through a world-barrier and soared across a sea of houses. 'BOMBS AWAY!' He gleefully shrieked as the present rockets through a chimney of a place that looked strangely like it could have been on Grand Designs.
​'C'est tellement frustrant!' exclaimed the Frenchman as he looked through the remaining gifts. 'Gah, cleaning up after Praxus and Carrot's mess. If zey were not too passed out to save Christmas, I would be forcing zem to do such work.'
​'Hang on — message coming through from the Great Lady Dionysus!’ SPRX-77 called. ‘She says the next location is in a place called Italy, the Vatican! Wait, no — now Lady Rockefeller's talking. She's saying something about music...'
​'IS THAT FAR? HOW FAR IS THAT?!' Pierre started flipping through the Galaxy White Pages for an approximation.
​SPRX-77 grumbled like a teen as she listened through the comms. 'This is NOT the time, you two! Could you please STOP arguing about the ensemble for tonight's ball? I don't CARE if The President is coming! If we don't deliver these last gifts we won't be able to enjoy anything!'
Mei and Pierre exchange twin looks of shock at hearing the cyborg teen lash out. With a wordless look of, Oh, she’s REAL into Christmas, they left her to it and continued working on their path to the Vatican.
​The sleigh sputtered and sparked. Houston revved the machine to within an inch of its life and broke it through the world-barriers.
​The dancing vortex streaming at light speed around the sleigh mesmerized the old man. Old memories floated back, as the atoms of the universe twisted and wove into feelings he hadn’t felt in years.
​The greatest gift you can ever give is a good deed. Never forget that.
​
​The reminder was a sweet embrace from a parent long passed.
​'AWRIGHT LOVELY FOLKS', WE'RE GOING TO OVERDRIIIVE. HOLD ONTO YER' BUTTS!'
​'Oh, mon Dieu.'
​'Uh-oh!'
​'Then go with Queen, who here doesn't love QUEEN!'
​'Go Housty! Straight to VALHALLA!'
​
​Houston floored the sleigh, and the world's most festive troupe of makeshift Santas flew into the skies of infinity, spreading joy and Christmas throughout the cosmos.